What will the Utah hockey team be called? – Desert News

Today there was a bear stuck in a tree in the Marmalade section of Salt Lake City.

I have to be honest: I didn’t know we had bears near Salt Lake City. I think I knew conceptually that they were somewhere deep in the surrounding mountains, but I never thought it was possible for a real black bear to enter our capital and then climb a tree. I also didn’t think it was possible for a bear to get stuck in a tree. Isn’t tree climbing their whole thing? I guess I don’t know much about bears.

Salt Lake City police quickly coordinated with the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources, and together they removed the adolescent bear from the tree, a little earlier than expected.

I’m happy with these events, except the part about the bear falling on the sidewalk. But according to Scott Root, conservation manager for the DWR, the bear appeared unharmed and ran “very well” when it was released into the central region.

Utah Division of Wildlife Resources employees and a Salt Lake City police officer carry a captured bear that was perched in a tree in Salt Lake City on Wednesday, June 5, 2024. The bear fell from the tree after being tranquilized. They will release the bear in an area away from people and livestock. | Kristin Murphy, Desert News

Now that we know the bear and Salt Lake City’s small pets are safe, it’s time to think about what kind of message the bear was trying to send.

I think it’s pretty clear. Today’s bear incident was a sign for our yet-to-be-named hockey team.

As team owners Ryan Smith and Ashley Smith and the powers that be concerned with what to call the team, I think in light of today’s events we would be remiss if we didn’t add something to the list of bears. four names would be the finalists.

“But,” you might say, “we already have a bear associated with the Utah Jazz.” Well, I have great news. Just like the team dubbed “The Utah Jazz” in a city last I checked had zero jazz stations on the radio, having a bear as a mascot for the Utah Jazz never made much sense and choosing of a new mascot for the Jazz would actually be the logical thing to do.

And I don’t know much about sports, but I’m told we’re in a rebuilding phase with our basketball team, so why not really start over and create a new mascot? Shouldn’t it be on-the-ma anymore? Maybe it could be a dancing saxophone or a sliding trombone. That would free up the bear costume for use at our hockey games. Just exchange the jerseys.

“But,” you might say, “Isn’t the name Utah Bears kind of boring?” Yes. It is. And it’s definitely done. That’s why I personally don’t think the name should be something as mundane as just ‘The Bears’. No, I think we should really make this team name our own. Be really specific with it. May I introduce: the Utah bears stuck in trees in the Marmalade District?

We could start hamming this up. Shape the hockey sticks with branches and leaves. At halftime, bring out a trampoline and have audience volunteers drop teddy bears from the top of a ladder, and whoever lands it on the trampoline gets a new car. Refs could wear DWR uniforms.

I’m just spitballing here. Not all of these ideas will be winners. I’m not really sure any of them are any good.

But I’m sure the bear trapped in Salt Lake City’s Marmalade neighborhood was a sign from hockey heaven. What’s better than our new team name, which screams with a hint of (apparently) local, wild flavor? Not much.

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