Dave Simpson: Rare Democrats spotted in Casper

What do the Wyoming Democrats (sparse than chicken teeth) and the Weak Sauce Republicans (there are still plenty of them) have in common?

Give up?

They both can’t stand the Wyoming Freedom Caucus. Boy, do they hate the Freedom Caucus? To hear the Weak-Sauce Republicans and the Scarce Democrats say, the Freedom Caucus is the worst thing since diet beer. Since the Mexican flu. Since break dancing.

Since I started wearing baseball caps backwards.

So bad.

I’m going to throw caution to the wind here and simply call the members of the Freedom Caucus “Republicans.” I’m not going to get into how “far right” or “further right” or “dyed in the wool right” they might be. No.

To me (and someone on Facebook last week called me an “Old Boomer,” a mantle I wear with pride), the far-right, further-right, and dyed-in-the-wool Republicans all have the most in common with, well, Republicans. Like us.

Not like Squish Republicans who can’t decide which floor to get off the elevator on until they see which floor the Democrats get off on, and often join them.

Were different. ‘Draconian’ people like us didn’t have to hold a finger in the air when it came to boys playing girls’ sports, boys becoming girls, girls becoming boys, talking about gender options with first graders, old fat boys dressing up as women and getting frisky playing in front of children, suppressing swimsuits at Target, ‘Gender Queer’ in school libraries, taking every dollar from the already massively indebted federal government, and convicting a former president for expired crimes that magically transformed into new crimes in New York.

(I could go on.)

We didn’t need a survey to find out what we thought about that stuff.

Call us rubes, hayseeds, or stinking Walmart shoppers if you want (and they will), but we’re pretty clear about what we think about controversial things like that.

And it seems to me that in this state that voted almost 70 percent for Donald Trump – the highest percentage in the country – there are probably many more Americans than THEM.

When will our ‘leaders’ become as conservative as we are?

The latest kick in the Freedom Caucus pants came last weekend in Casper, where the state Democratic Party held its convention (and no, it wasn’t held in a phone booth).

They said people like us need to be ‘contained’ because we are ‘a threat’. But with only seven Democrats in the Wyoming Legislature, that will be difficult to rein in. They better bring cable ties.

One Democrat said passing a resolution would do no good because it would contain “big words” that people like us would never understand.

That’s what Democrats, and many Milquetoast Republicans, think of us.

(I have an old friend, a lifelong Democrat, who once covered state party conventions in Wyoming. He said the Democrats always paid for the reporters’ meals. But the Republicans made them pay, and the food wasn’t so good. He loved going to the bar at night and watching the Republicans try to dance. He said there’s nothing funnier than watching stiff conservatives try to dance.)

Democrats in Casper said they also have no intention of supporting the Weak Sauce Republicans, even though they think a lot more like Democrats than Freedom Caucus people like us.

One Democrat joked that Donald Trump – whom Democrats consider Beelzebub – “is a man of his convictions, all 34 of them.” (Now there’s a knee-lapper.)

We will see many more attacks like this in the coming months. And I say every time Joe Biden calls Trump “a convicted felon,” we call Biden “a bumbling senile menace.”

Here in Wyoming, the anger directed at the Freedom Caucus may indicate how fearful those in power are of losing their traditional grip on power.

It could go either way in November, as the Freedom Caucus folks picked up seats in the recent elections and are tantalizingly close to leadership status.

I’m reminded of a scene from the movie “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”

Butch looks back at the Union Pacific special troop overtaking them (in this case played by the approaching Freedom Caucus), and asks Sundance:

“Who are those guys?”

Dave Simpson can be reached at: [email protected]

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