“Giving is getting” but this popular idea does have a qualifier that must be highlighted and properly understood, as it is often mistaken to refer to some kind of losing in the short term to gain in the long-term—which it kind of is yet isn’t. In this episode, Matthew distinguishes “giving” from “losing” so that we’re not trying to say anything paradoxical like “losing is winning.” There need be no losers for everyone to win.
Happy wife, happy life? Maybe. It depends on what you mean. In this episode, Matthew submits that the usual way this expression is taken is subjective and therefore leads to mutual frustration and unhappiness. He offers instead an objective meaning, which gives the expression legitimacy and the power to help people achieve mutual happiness in a relationship.
And this wisdom isn’t just sound advice for a successful marriage, but for any long-term or close relationship.
I talk a lot. Ask anyone who knows me. I just now asked my wife, and she almost choked laughing and said, “Yeeees. In the all-time stupidest questions, that one is second.” (I didn’t inquire as to the first.) During a recent discussion of a hypothetical son and some aspects of how we would raise him, she at one point stared ahead into space and said, “Oh, god. I’d have two Boulton boys talking at me all day.”
But she has also added very recently, kidding aside, that she is actually very grateful for my disposition, no matter how tedious it may get. Reading some posts on social media of some women complaining of their husbands, she was bewildered at what she considered the impossibility of such impasses in her own life (not to mention her incredulity that anyone would share these grievances publicly). And these types of posts are typical, as we’ve seen over the years, and these issues are the themes of talk shows, TV dramas, and countless conversations among women in coffee shops and pubs across Korea and the world.